what you live with and what you’ll do without

I guess I fear judgement in one way even though in other ways, I’m not bothered by it. So much of my childhood was spent trying to mentally escape traumas that the one thing I had to keep me sane is the one thing I don’t want to be told I’m not good at. In the end, it doesn’t really matter if I’m shut down and I know this but still, it holds me back because it’s the one thing I’m not willing to give up that is still mine.