it’s so loud inside my head

And so we talked about my part in it and what it is that I can do. Since then, I’ve pondered that and decided that all I can do is take care of what I say, what I do, and how I react.

I am ultimately in charge of my own joy.

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waves

…sometimes I can feel so great about who I am and then in one moment it crashes and I feel the sting of salt to a wound and the loss of breath as if I’m drowning.

i get to love you

it’s the most important thing i’ll ever do
and i’m thankful that i get to do it with you. <3

One look at you,
my whole life falls in line.
I prayed for you
before I called you mine.
Oh I can’t believe it’s true sometimes.
Oh I can’t believe it’s true.

I get to love you.
It’s the best thing that I’ll ever do.
I get to love you.
It’s a promise I’m making to you:
Whatever may come your heart I will choose
Forever I’m yours, Forever i do.

I get to love you
I get to

The way you love,
it changes who i am.
I am undone.
I thank God once again.

Oh I can’t believe it’s true sometimes.
Oh I can’t believe it’s true.

I get to love you.
It’s the best thing that I’ll ever do.
I get to love you.
It’s a promise I’m making to you:
Whatever may come your heart I will choose.
Forever I’m yours, Forever I do.

I get to love you
I get to love you
I get to love you
I get to love you

-Ruelle

let’s rejoice in where there’s love

in looking back, i find so much frustration for how far i am from my goals. i see where i had the drive, the time and the will-power to put myself first.  the downside of it being that i lose the time, the drive and the will-power for much else, which isn’t fair or what i want in the end.  so what i’ve decided is that i need to find at least one thing that worked; something attainable; something i can stick to when all else fails.  and so upon great consideration, that one thing is to just try for something each day.  it doesn’t have to be much, it just has to be positive, inspiring & beneficial to my overall well-being.  in the end, i can’t go wrong with that.

place your past into a book, burn the pages

If only you could raise the bar for yourself instead of living behind it. I see your potential. I wish you could too. All that once was, now clings in shadows. Words circle around in endless pools of mistakes and regrets deep within the shallows. Still, we are so close and yet so very far.

you’re such a heavenly view

I had a moment.
I had no recollection that you weren’t really here.
I saw your smile. The one I haven’t seen in years.
You were my moment.
You were there to comfort me when I didn’t even realize I needed it.
There was no sadness.
There were no scars of the past.
We were together and we were happy.
It felt like our lives were just beginning.
It felt like peace.  It felt like you.
I miss you, Daddy.

maybe one day i could fly with you

When you lose someone, the hurt doesn’t leave, it just changes.
The places you’d go before together seem empty.
The words you last said seem trivial.
The distance apart seems greater each day.
Like the memories are fading.
It’s scary and sad. And then it hurts because you feel yourself forgetting.
So the pain doesn’t leave, it just changes. It’s always there.